Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Why Does My #%$!*# Computer Run So Slow?



Ever wonder why your computer runs so slow?
Short answer, your computer is either old or overloaded.
Short fix:
1) clean out your cookies, temporary internet files, and cache. This slows stuff down more than I ever realized until my 1 month old dual core Dell w/ 2 gigs of RAM at home started moving like a turtle in molasses. I cleaned out the temporary internet files and BAM, it ran like a hare!
2) Go to Control Panel, then to Add/Remove Programs. Remove all the crap programs. You know which ones they are. They're the ones that get installed by accident or automatically. They're the toolbars and desktop assistants and modem helpers, weather bugs, and all that crap. Get yourself rid of them!
3) This is wildly unsafe, and I recommend that you never do it. In fact, if you had to do anything I mentioned in step 2, don't ever try this. But it works. Viruses only infect you if you actually download them and run them. If you're smart enough not to manually download or install a virus, then you can turn off your virus-software completely and it will vastly improve the overall performance of your machine. Now. You will still be completely open to worms, scripts, macros, and all manner of wee beasties that can make your system download malware and run it without your permission. OK. Turn that anti-virus back on and deal with a slow but safe computer.

The longer answer is more complex. There are two major sides: hardware and software.
Allow me to illustrate the hardware end:
1) Hard Drive storage space is how much space you have for library shelves.
2) Memory or RAM is how much desk space you have to open all your books at once.
3) Processor speed is how fast you can read everything spread out on the table.

Hard Drive speed means how fast you can select, retrieve, and return books to the shelves.
Memory bus speed is how fast you can arrange what's on your desk.

Processors and memory are solid state. They have no moving parts. Hard Drives are mechanical devices. They spin at least 5000 RPM while they magnetize and demagnetize to save and retreive your files. Imagine if you spun around thousands of RPM for a few years and everyone expected you to work just like new. While talking computers and auto-tuning, Randy with SD Tech shared with me his comparisson. Hard drives are just like cars. Since they are mechanical and spin, you're basically putting miles on them. You can't expect your hard drive to perform like new after a few years. It's just worn out. No amount of drive defragmentation can change that.

Worn out hard drives are often the culprit for hardware issues.

As far as software, you're probably asking too much of your system. So you're browsing the interslice with only 3 windows open. One is using some sorta virtual java machine. The other has a busload of Flash animation going on- say myspace or something with games or whatever, and you're checking your mail. You're running Yahoo toolbar, weatherbug, some sort of 3rd party registry "cleaner", yahoo instant messenger, msn messenger (whether if you have an account or not), and limewire is cranking away downloading a bunch of pirated software with embedded worms and viruses and such. Now, why is your system running so #&*@! slow? Suddenly you want to sync your blackberry or whatever and it takes forever?


Cut out the crap. Search toolbars are bullcorn. Weatherbug things are data miners. Your registry "cleaners" are going to end up selling your credit card information. Stay slim. Keep it tidy and you should be OK.

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Long story short- replace your hard-drive. Don't worry, it takes a couple of minutes with a screw driver. You won't break it unless you run across the carpet with socks on to build up a static charge.
Then go to CONTROL PANEL, and remove all the crap that's on your system. No weather bugs, no yahoo/google toolbars.. get rid of the crap.

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